Dressed up to the Nines

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I. BLOODY. LOVE. DRESSES. Which is why, when awards season comes around each year, I get quite excited. As I've STILL NOT managed to accomplish my goal of being an actual Disney princess; wearing gowns, attending balls, befriending adorable talking animals and leaving shoes all over the bloody place, the closest I'm likely to ever get to those gorgeous princess dresses is by obsessively browsing through the red carpet images on IMDb and madly pawing at the screen crying "WHY CAN'T IT BE ME?!" Anyway, now that I've branded that disturbing image into your minds for the rest of the day, let's get on with it, shall we?

So it was the Golden Globes last week and aside from the fact that the dresses were excellent as usual, the celebrities have disappointed me. Not because of their lack of effort, oh no, if anything they've made too much effort. Because this year, practically everyone was wearing custom-made gowns! They're not satisfied with just picking a dress from a recent Couture collection, oh no, they've got to have them specially made for them. As if Vera Wang doesn't have enough to do.

"Why is this such a big deal, Franki?" you may ask.

Well my little daisies, I'll tell you. Every year, when awards season swings around, I sit in my pyjamas, go through all the red carpet photos, pick out my favourite dresses, find out who designed them and then track down a photo of the dresses when they were originally shown on the catwalks. It's just something I like doing, ok? I think it's interesting.

If a dress has been custom-made, however, I can't do this, because it was never shown on the catwalk. Some people are so selfish. Of my seven favourite dresses, only one was actually first shown on the catwalk. Not happy. If the celebs decide to pull the same crap at the Oscars, I'll be writing a very strongly-worded letter to the Academy...

Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci (Pre-Fall 2012). Still kind of channeling the stark palette of her Lisbeth Salander character, I love how this is both quite revealing but still understated. She's kept it edgy with very minimal hair and makeup and no jewels at all - this look is all about the dress. Glad she steered away from the elbow-length gloves as I think they look like overkill in the original photo.

Zooey Deschanel in custom-bloody-Prada. I think this is a very unusual choice for the red carpet and for Zooey herself, but she looks gorgeous nonetheless. It's miles away from her usual quirky-girl style, though she has kept her signature hairstyle the same. Love the unexpected pop of acid green (acid green on the red carpet - who'da thunk?) and the high neckline. Lovely lovely lovely.

Reese Witherspoon in Zac Posen. I can't help but love Reese; she always looks so cute and smiley. I've read some reviews slating this look, saying that it looks like she's not made much effort with her hair and the fit of the dress looks weird, but personally I like that she's kept her hair quite laid back and I think the shape of the dress is cool, although it does look like the fishtail could do with having a bit more structure to it... it's gone kind of floppy. Either way, she's gone for a kind of modern all-American girl/blonde bombshell type thing and I think it's fabulous.

Michelle Williams in Jason Wu. It's interesting that, having recently played the ultimate screen-siren, Marilyn Monroe, Michelle wasn't tempted to emulate her look on the red carpet. A lot of celebs go all in for that old-Hollywood glamour when it comes to awards season, but Michelle has jumped straight back into her signature style - pixie crop and unusual gown. While it would have been nice to see her really upping the glamour - we know she can pull it off as she looked stunning as Marilyn - I guess she's found a style that she likes and is sticking to it. I think this Jason Wu gown could look absolutely horrendous on the wrong person, but Michelle makes it look chic and elegant.

Heidi Klum in Calvin Klein. I'll be completely honest here, I'm going to take all the credit for this one. If you've red my previous red carpet posts, you'll know that for the past couple of years, I've been trying to show Heidi that her recent efforts have been way off. Obviously, she's been paying attention to my words of wisdom because she's really looking gorgeous here. Understated hair and makeup, simple but elegant dress and beautiful jewels. Well done, Heidi, well done.

Emma Stone in Lanvin. Some redheads don't like to wear certain colours for fear they'll clash with their hair, but Emma is clearly willing to take risks and they've really paid off here. This Grecian-style Lanvin number (with an EAGLE belt) is super sexy and fashion-forward. It's a very different look to the one she went for last year - she's really upped the sex appeal this time around - smouldering eyes, plunging neckline, thigh split - you go Glen Coco Emma!

Charlize Theron in Dior Couture. Oh beautiful, beautiful Charlize. You're just so... beautiful! Despite the fact that this has an uber-low neckline and massive thigh split, it's still feminine, pretty and elegant. I don't think you can ever go wrong with Dior; it's just the perfect red carpet label. Love the hair, love the rosey complexion, LOVE THIS!

So who do you think looked the best? And I have missed anyone out? Can't wait for the Oscars!