Meyer, Meyer, Meyer

Sunday 11 July 2010

So, remember how I said that even though I wasn't particularly fussed on Edward Cullen and his nauseous little face, I was still going to give the Twilight books a go, because I want to know what all the fuss is about? Well I'm currently reading the first book and I have to say it is quite readable. It hasn't changed my life or anything, but it definitely hasn't been a chore to read. I still think it's massively overrated though. Maybe it's because I'm 22, not 15, or maybe it's because I'm massively cynical about love and romance in general, but I do think that Edward and Bella's relationship, right from the get-go is completely ridiculous and weird. And Bella is really f***ing annoying. I can't see how any teenage girls could relate to her, she's a nob. But yeah, I'm enjoying it...

Anyway, I was reading it on the bus the other day, and I got to the part where Edward and Bella go on a little trip to the woods (as you do) and she describes what he's wearing, and I suddenly read a sentence that made me pause and question Stephenie Meyer as a credible human living in the 21st century;

"His white shirt was sleeveless, and he wore it unbuttoned, so that the smooth white skin of his throat flowed uninterrupted over the marble contours of his chest,"

Does anyone else see the problem here? No seventeen year old boy, regardless of whether or not he happens to be a vampire, would go gallavanting around in an unbuttoned sleeveless shirt. I can't even imagine what that would look like, because nobody would EVER wear it. I'm not even talking about fashion here - they live in a small town, there probably isn't much in the way of reputable fashion stores, that's fine, I accept that. But unless the only store in a one hundred mile radius is the Jean Paul Gaultier Sailor Suit Cast Offs Store, there is no excuse for Edward wearing that shirt. No excuse. Stephenie Meyer, I don't know what kind of weird-ass, sartorially challenged world you're dreaming up, but you need to sort it out. Sure, the whole Twilight 'world' is full of mythical creatures (vampires, werewolves, Dakota Fanning) so obviously, we don't have to see it as completely realistic, but Steph, please at least try and be credible with the stuff that you actually can be credible with.

I feel like Carrie in that episode of SATC where Burger writes about the woman wearing a scrunchie. But at least some people actually own scrunchies.
No. Just no.

12 comments:

  1. Hahahaha awesome post. The picture is hilarious!
    x

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  2. LMFAO @ She's a nob! this made me LOL, big time. I agree, Bella is ridiculously annoying. Especially in the films, she's always got her mouth open, and has no emotion or passion. Mleh.

    Great post. xx

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  3. Aha I so never noticed this when I read the books. Stephanie Meyer is an APPALING writer. And yes, Bella is the most dislikeable character Iave ever encountered.

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  4. Thanks for your comment :) I love magazine give aways, the benefit eyeliner sure sounds great!

    I loved this post, it was very amusing. I have never read the Twilight books, i've only watched the films but I must say I feel like someone is asphyxiating me throughout...Bella is annoying and Edward...there are no words, I feel like smacking him silly.

    Great blog.
    x

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  5. Hahaha! I read Twilight (all four books) too thinking that if so many people liked it, then it must be at least good...but I actually hated it. I kept hoping it would get better but it never did. The characters are so awful and the messages are completely insulting, I don't think Stephanie Meyer is a very intelligent woman! Whenever she would describe what they were wearing I would cringe at the images of the characters in beige turtlenecks and khaki cargo pants, it's all too awful.

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  6. hilarious! i refuse to read Twilight and watch the movies so i commend you for doing it! (i saw the first one when i was drunk, the 2nd time i was sober and i hated it)
    ha, well that book was written a while ago, but that still doesn't excuse the tackiness of that white shirt.
    great blog!

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  7. i have the same feeling about twilight as well! after reading the first book 2 years before it became popular i never thought that it was movie worthy, and oh my with that open sleeveless shirt description. blah. oh no is right!

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  8. Genius post. I haven't read the books, and only saw the first film for the first time a couple of nights ago - overrated is the word, and I'm afraid I'd even have to question Bella's acting abilities - the speed and monotony with which she delivers lines rivals Clive Owen! x

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  9. That's the most interesting thing I've read about twilight.

    My English teacher told me she read them but that because Stephanie Meyer was so in love with what she created she never actually threatened it, which surely is the whole reason you fall for a book about vampires?

    I just don't get it... Fair play for reading them though!

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  10. I would express my feelings on Twilight here but OH! It'd probably turn into an essay. So I might just save it for my blog *nods*

    Speaking of which; thank you a ton for the comment. It means a lot to know at least a few people are reading/agreeing. I'm going to start some kind of TAKE BACK BLOGGING militia, we can have pitchforks and everything.

    x

    RAH! RAH! STYLE REVOLT!

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  11. Hahaha this is hilarious! I'm not a fan of Twilight, but I feel I shouldn't judge it too harshly as when I was 13 I probably would have loved it haha.

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